This is a complete riot! Read carefully. Relish every word!
Indian History : Supposedly written by a schoolboy with all original spellings:
The
original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived
in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities had the
best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from
them. Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from
son to father.
A
myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which
means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in
olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.
In olden times there
were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other
was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle
called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera Bharat
Mahan.
In midevil times India
was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty
death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi
because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis. The
greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the
battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana.
But
his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept
300 porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning
had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel
for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to
distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was
sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J K, while Orangezip came to
Bombay to fight Shivaji. However,after that they changed its name to
Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it. They also do not like New
Delhi, so they are calling it Door Darshan.
After the Mowglis came
Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100
foot clipper. Then came the British. They brought with them many
inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were
followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry.
But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out
membered since the British had the queen on their side.
Eventually, the British
came to overrule India because there was too much diversity in our
unity. The British overruled India for a long period.They were great
expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and
impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to
produce his own salt. This was called the Swedish moment. During this
moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to
wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped
the production of Indian testicles.
In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi
was married to one wife. Soon after he became the father of the nation.
In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British
were quietly lootoing our country. In 1947, India became free and its
people became freely loving.
Its
government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to
take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our
constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be
hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in
prison if you have not paid your taxis. Another important thing about
our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with
the British constipation because it is not written on paper.
The
Indian parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and
higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided
against itself cannot withstand. So Pandit Nehru asked the British for
freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark.
At
midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in parlemint in which many
participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag. Recently in India,
there have been a large number of scams and a plaque,it can be dangerous
because many people died of this plaque in Surat. Scams are all over
India. One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything
to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a
small town in Switzerland. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to
buy a gun which can shoot a coot.
Presently India has a coalition government made up of many parties, left,right and centre. It
has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need
for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself.
India is also trying to
become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. Another
important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this
place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and
population.
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