The Auto-Doctor
One day, Pete complained to his
friend, "My head really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His
friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that
can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply tell it
the problem, put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will
diagnose it and tell you what you can do about the issue you're having.
It only costs $20.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose,
so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store.
Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $20.00.
The computer started making some
noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out
popped a small slip of paper which read:
**************************************
You have migrains. You
need to take better care of yourself. Get a daily rest, drink a lot and
avoid bright lights, stress and strain. See me again in 2 weeks.
**************************************
During the next 2 weeks, while
thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change
medical science forever, he began to wonder if this could be fooled. He
decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a
stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter.
To top it off, he even added some oil from his car.
He went back to the drug store,
located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $20.00,
again stating he had a bad headache. He awaited curiously to see what
the computer will say about the odd mix. The machine again made the
usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
**************************************
Your tap water has too much waste in it.
Your dog has ringworms.
Your teenage daughter is pregnant.
Your wife has had 5 different lovers in the past six months.
Also, your car needs a new radiator.
And you wonder why you have a headache?
**************************************
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